NACHODELPHIA

NACHODELPHIA HOME EDITION

chips, extra sharp cheddar and monterey jack cheeses, olives, pickled jalapenos, creama, salsa, refried black beans, scallions

My friend made some nachos for us to eat.  They were pretty delicious.  Wish the chips were better, but Thrift Way grocery store doesn’t have many options.  We made sure the chip to topping ratio was up to par.  The black beans were mashed with garlic and Chalula seasoning.  Kind of wish we put some onions on them.  Maybe even sauteed onions!

BLACKBIRD PIZZERIA @ 507 S 6th St (6th and Lombard)

Nacho pizza 3.75 (slice)/19 (pie)

avocado, caramelized onions, jalapeno peppers, cheddar style daiya cheese

[I’m aware that this is in fact, pizza, and not actual nachos.  I’m sorry I love pizza too.]

If you are vegan eat here.  If you aren’t vegan eat here.

It’s just really that good. 

Better than Homeslice’s nacho pie (that wasn’t actually on the menu).  BUT THIS IS VERY MUCH ON THE MENU.  And delicious.  The crust was awesome, onions were so sweet, sauce was savory, Daiya cheese was gooey, and there were a lot of avocado slices!

The slices were super big too.

The pizza makes you friends*

*This I cannot actually guarantee, but I made some friends.  Look how cute they are; cheesing so big!

NICK’S ROAST BEEF OF OLD PHILLY @ 16 S. 2nd Street (Old City)

Nachos $5.25

chips, cheese whiz, lettuce, tomato, salsa, guacamole, sour cream

So I wanted to go to National Mechanics to eat nachos, but they were carding at the door.  My jawn lost his wallet awhile ago and never got another ID, so we couldn’t eat there.   

I wouldn’t have imagined that a roast beef place would have nachos, but they did.  They sucked.  They did have the spicy kind of whiz, which was better than regular whiz.  The chips were weak and got super soggy and gross.  I don’t know what the purpose of the lettuce was—I hate lettuce on nachos.  The guac was whatever, probably came in a tub from a store.  The salsa was also whatever.

Don’t eat these nachos, but still eat at this fine establishment. GET THE GRAVY FRIES.

DRINKER’S PUB @ 1903 Chestnut St. (19th and Chestnut in Rittenhouse)

Nachos $6

chips, jack and cheddar cheeses, pico de gallo, jalapenos, black olives, scallions, creama

So, these nachos were surprisingly good, even though Drinker’s totally a white kid bar in Rittenhouse!  They were huge!  I couldn’t finish them; I guess that means the price to proportion ratio was on par.  The chip to topping ratio was also adequate.

AND YES I DID ADD GUAC FOR ONLY A DOLLAR MORE.  You should too.  Because it was delicious.  The chips were fried in house too!  I think the “cheddar cheese” is actually cheese whiz, but there wasn’t that much of it so it’s not like I’m pissed about it or anything.

ALSO IT WAS COOL THAT THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE SOUR CREAM/PICO ON THE SIDE IN THOSE STUPID LITTLE METAL CUPS(RAMEKINS). I hate that shit.

So yeah.  These are good.  Go eat these if you are in Rittenhouse; you won’t be disappointed.

MAXI’S PIZZA AND SUBS @ 1926 Liacouras Walk (Temple University)

chips, cheese whiz, tomatoes, jalapenos, black beans

$6 Nachos

These nachos were a late night last resort of sorts.  I was working at school and realized I didn’t eat all evening.  Because I’m not a lame-ass freshman and don’t have a meal plan, food choices are really limited on campus (bum out).  I didn’t want to get sexually harassed at Temple Star, so I decided to eat at Maxi’s.

Turns out Maxi’s has nachos.  They’re okay, for the WHITEST OF THE WHITE BOY NACHOS.  The chips were hot and greasy.  Maybe they made them in-store.  They definitely didn’t skimp on the whiz cheese.  Maybe I can appreciate that type of cheese a little bit more now.  Probably not though.

The chunks of tomatoes were good but the chunks of jalapenos were way too much!  I had to scrape them off into a sad little pile on the side.  Sorry jalapenos, I couldn’t take the heat!  More black beans please!

Maybe you should get these if you like to eat three full jalapenos per serving of nachos and a quart of cheese whiz.

Ted Montana’s Bar and Grill @ 260 South Broad St. (Broad and Spruce)

Nacho Nirvana $6

Chips, pico de gallo, jack and melted cheeses, fresh jalapenos, sour cream, bison chili (which I didn’t get)

After I ordered these nachos I realized how stupid it was to get them without their signature bison chili.  I should have just made the boyf eat them and relay the taste information back to me.  Alas…I did nothing of the sort.

So I got them sans bison chili and they were sparse with toppings, but okay.  The chips were just standard, but the cheese was good.  The jalapenos were pretty thick cut for being fresh.  Why was the sour cream in a cup?  I don’t know!  Bars like to do this, and I guess weird fancy(ish) chain restaurants like to do it too.  I just want everything to be a big sloppy mess, please.  I don’t care about the calorie content!  I KNOW NACHOS ARE GOING TO MAKE ME A FATASS AND I’M OKAY WITH THAT.

Someone eat these and tell me how they actually are.  BECAUSE I FUCKED UP.

I’m sorry guys!  But look how cute I am with the flag toothpicks that came in the boyf’s burger!

THE SIDECAR BAR & GRILLE @ 2201 Christian St.  (22nd and Christian [Google maps tells me the neighborhood is called Graduate Hospital])

$11 nachos

choice of braised pork or chorizo, melted asadero cheese, black beans, jalapenos, creama, pineapple tomatillo salsa

First of all, can we talk about the price?  Eleven fucking dollars?  For eleven dollars, I better be getting the grandaddy of ALL things nacho, right?
WRONG
The cheese looked as if it had been previously melted, but then left to harden into a mass.  I JUST DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO PULL APART THE CHEESE WITH MY HANDS OKAY?  Is that really too much to ask for?  It tasted salty, and for all intents and purposes could have been mozz, and I wouldn’t have known the difference.  Chips weren’t terrible, but were that strong.  A broke most of them, trying to get to the cheese.  The black beans were just…floating around on the heap; not enough to be worth even putting on really.  The penos were fresh and not pickled so I was into that.
But let’s not forget that the salsa AND creama came in little stainless steel cups on the side.  Dude, listen.  Salsa is not something to skimp on, and I’m very disappointed that I had to apply it myself.  It was nice that it was different than just regular pico, but I wish it was…wetter?  It was super chunky, and that’s cool and all, but the entire plate was just really dry, so I was kind of relying on the salsa to make things a bit juicer, you know?  Total bum out.
Also it took forever to get the food.  It was Sunday night, and, like, two other groups of people came in after we did.  People really weren’t eating.  It was lame. It wouldn’t have been too much of a problem, but my homeboy had to get to karaoke.
Don’t waste your money.

ps.  My camera even hated the nachos because I couldn’t get a decent macro shot.  I hate bar lighting.